Everyone whose job it is to make jokes about current events was handed a gift on the weekend: A photo of Donald Trump’s famously ochre-hued face framed by a startlingly wide border of his actual skin colour, his hair blown back in the wind, as stark as his corrupt conduct. Seth Meyers took A Closer Look at the weekend’s events on Monday night, but as any impeachment-weary late night talk show host worth putting in a fancy suit would, he took the opportunity to have a red-hot go at Trump’s other hardline border policy before getting into the serious stuff.
“He looks just like he went to the beach wearing a dog cone,” Meyers joked. “Trump only cares about the top 1 percent, even when he’s applying sunscreen to his face. Looks like he stuck his face in an empty bag of Doritos and sucked up the dust.” Read more…
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As Republicans freak out very slightly in the face of actually having to call some witnesses in Donald Trump’s post-impeachment Senate trial — such as John Bolton, former NSW advisor and author of the spiciest tell-all of the upcoming fall publishing season — their star lawyer Alan Dershowitz launched a wild new “legal” “defense”.
Basically: Presidents want to get elected because they think they will be the best president for the country, and therefore anything they do to get elected, no matter how shady it is, is totally kosher.
I’m barely paraphrasing.
An incredulous Stephen Colbert unpacked that argument line by line in Wednesday night’s Late Show monologue, and it’s worth watching just to make sure you’re hearing Dershowitz correctly. Read more…
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If having Rudy Giuliani as his personal attorney wasn’t proof enough that Trump’s not getting the best legal advice possible, dwell upon this clip from Monday night’s episode of the Late Show.
Ahead of the president’s impeachment trial in the Senate, the House managers filed a brief calling Trump’s conduct “the Framers’ worst nightmare.” Team Trump’s response was to end the weekend insisting that “abuse of power” — one of the cited crimes in the articles of impeachment — isn’t, like, technically a real crime or anything, so it’s not impeachable.
“Yes it is!” Late Show host Stephen Colbert exclaims in Monday night’s monologue. “It’s the most powerful job in the world — that’s why abuse of power is the thing that a president is not supposed to do.” Read more…
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On Wednesday’s episode of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, the host examined how President Trump is coping now that articles of impeachment have been brought against him. “With impeachment closing in, last night Trump went to his happy place — anger,” said Colbert, referring to Trump’s characteristically bizarre Pennsylvania rally.
Attempting to minimise the rather serious accusations brought against him, Trump dismissed the number of charges against him as “impeachment light” and nothing to be concerned about. Which is kind of like saying everything’s fine because there are only two dead rats in their cake batter. Read more…
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert continued its ongoing chronicling of the Trump impeachment inquiry on Monday night, ensuring the aliens who discover Earth’s wreckage in a million years will know how we destroyed ourselves.
In particular, Colbert focused on the upcoming testimony of U.S. ambassador to the European Union Gordon Sondland, whose phone call with President Trump regarding the potential quid pro quo with Ukraine has already been the subject of damning testimonies.
According to witnesses, Trump made it explicit in the conversation that he was aiming for Ukraine to open up an investigation into the Bidens. And this wasn’t the only flavor of disturbing in the call. Read more…
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After the first televised impeachment hearings into Donald Trump and Ukraine on Wednesday, some people came away from watching highly respected U.S. officials add more damning evidence to an already-teetering pile wondering why they didn’t get a bit more of the ol’ razzle dazzle.
Republicans’ new line, after weeks of demanding public hearings, switched to a puerile cry of “Boringgggg!” with Kellyanne Conway saying it was “just a bunch of gossip girls.” As Stephen Colbert noted in his monologue Wednesday night, Gossip Girl was a very successful show, even if the ending left something to be desired. (Also, 13 million people watched the hearings; only 11 million watched the CMAs that same night.) Read more…
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Stephen Colbert summed up another weekend in the Trump era on Monday Night’s Late Show, and it still isn’t getting any less weird.
Between the president officially leaving New York City (for tax reasons) and Titanic-groping a baseball player at the White House as thanks for donning a MAGA hat, it’s been an interesting few days. Then, of course, there’s the impeachment latest.
In the face of House Intelligence Committee Chair Rep. Adam Schiff releasing transcripts of the inquiry testimony, which the GOP had been decrying as “secretive,” Colbert explains that some Trump defenders are thinking they might switch to a new tactic: admitting that there may have been a quid pro quo, then just trying to downplay the negative spin. Read more…
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On Thursday’s episode of Late Night with Seth Meyers, the host examined the US House of Representatives’ vote to endorse the impeachment inquiry into Donald Trump – a vote that many Republicans had insisted would not pass.
In fact, White House counsellor Kellyanne Conway appeared on Fox News claiming “[The Democrats] don’t have the votes” — a clip Meyers juxtaposed deliciously with various news bulletins announcing the vote had passed.
“What? We can’t trust Kellyanne Conway?” joked Meyers. “I guess up is up and down is down.”
Meyers also touched on the possibility that Trump’s ex-national security adviser John Bolton will be called to testify, which will be interesting considering their less than amicable split. Read more…
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