The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert pokes holes in Trump’s dodgy reasoning for killing Iranian general

Stephen Colbert pokes holes in Trump's dodgy reasoning for killing Iranian general

Trump and his loyalists have been trying to convince Congress — as well as the rest of the U.S. — that ordering the assassination of Iranian general Qassem Soleimani was actually a very cool and good move. To that end, President Trump told Fox News on Jan. 10 that he “believe[s]” Soleimani was planning to attack four U.S. embassies. A belief, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert noted, that thus far appears to have little basis in fact.

“He believes it would have been four embassies,” said Colbert on Monday night. “Do we really want to live in a country where we bomb people because of what Donald Trump believes? We’re talking about a guy who believes windmills cause cancer.” Read more…

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Stephen Colbert feels very reassured by Trump’s tweets about Iran

Stephen Colbert feels very reassured by Trump's tweets about Iran

“It’s not World War Three, and that’s wonderful,” Stephen Colbert said during his Late Show opening monologue on Wednesday. “But it’s not like nothing happened.”

The world has been more on edge than usual since Trump ordered the assassination of Iranian military leader Qassem Soleimani on Jan. 3. Iran subsequently retaliated, attacking two U.S. military bases with 22 missiles. 

Many Americans are feeling uneasy, but as Colbert points out, fortunately President Trump was there to tweet empty platitudes at the public. “It’s okay folks, it’s okay,” said Colbert. “We’ve achieved Defcon Fine.” Read more…

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You can totally take a Thanksgiving turkey on a plane, according to Stephen Colbert

You can totally take a Thanksgiving turkey on a plane, according to Stephen Colbert

This week is Thanksgiving in the U.S., a time when families gather together to eat copious amounts of food and silently hate each other, like pre-gaming for Christmas. 

Fortunately for those saddled with the enormous task of cooking a Thanksgiving feast, the host of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert pointed out that they could just start the preparations early and bring the food along on their flight.

“According to the TSA, you can bring your Thanksgiving turkey on an airplane. Just tell them that’s your emotional support meat,” said Colbert. “As for other Thanksgiving foods, pies or cookies are allowed right in your carry-on, gravy and cranberry sauce can go in your checked luggage, and corn pudding can go directly to hell.” Read more…

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You can totally take a Thanksgiving turkey on a plane, according to Stephen Colbert

You can totally take a Thanksgiving turkey on a plane, according to Stephen Colbert

This week is Thanksgiving in the U.S., a time when families gather together to eat copious amounts of food and silently hate each other, like pre-gaming for Christmas. 

Fortunately for those saddled with the enormous task of cooking a Thanksgiving feast, the host of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert pointed out that they could just start the preparations early and bring the food along on their flight.

“According to the TSA, you can bring your Thanksgiving turkey on an airplane. Just tell them that’s your emotional support meat,” said Colbert. “As for other Thanksgiving foods, pies or cookies are allowed right in your carry-on, gravy and cranberry sauce can go in your checked luggage, and corn pudding can go directly to hell.” Read more…

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Stephen Colbert examines Trump’s butt in the name of the impeachment hearings

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert continued its ongoing chronicling of the Trump impeachment inquiry on Monday night, ensuring the aliens who discover Earth’s wreckage in a million years will know how we destroyed ourselves.

In particular, Colbert focused on the upcoming testimony of U.S. ambassador to the European Union Gordon Sondland, whose phone call with President Trump regarding the potential quid pro quo with Ukraine has already been the subject of damning testimonies. 

According to witnesses, Trump made it explicit in the conversation that he was aiming for Ukraine to open up an investigation into the Bidens. And this wasn’t the only flavor of disturbing in the call. Read more…

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Stephen Colbert invokes ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ in slamming Alabama’s abortion ban

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Alabama’s near-total abortion ban has made many of us furious, including Stephen Colbert, who tackled the legislation on The Late Show on Wednesday night. 

“That, is either an overreach by the Alabama GOP, or some pretty intense viral marketing for the new season of The Handmaid’s Tale,” Colbert quipped. 

“I don’t get it. If a TV show has to become reality, why can’t it be Star Trek, so they can beam me off this planet?”

The bill threatens doctors with 99-year jail terms if convicted of performing one in-state, and offers no exception for victims of rape or incest. 

“By the time those doctors get out of jail in Alabama, it will be 1895,” Colbert joked. If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry. Read more…

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Stephen Colbert unpacks Joe Biden’s presidential bid

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After quite a bit of speculation, former Vice-President Joe Biden launched his 2020 presidential run over the weekend.

It got the attention of Stephen Colbert, who spent some time talking about Biden’s campaign video, which talked about Trump’s reaction to Charlottesville — something that the president had to explain again. 

“Trump’s already worried about Joe Biden,” Colbert said. “And the proof of that is that this ad did something none of the other Democrats have been able to do, and that’s put Trump on the defensive.” Read more…

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Trevor Noah interviewing Stephen Colbert is as delightful as you’d expect

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Stephen Colbert doesn’t seem to be too precious about his deskThe Late Show host handed the reins to his former boss Jon Stewart in Nov. 2018, and on Monday, Stewart’s successor had a turn.

The Daily Show‘s Trevor Noah interviewed Colbert on the quintessential elements of a late night show in the age of Trump — especially how they check in with the president’s latest antics on Twitter, or “the national nanny cam.”

But Noah also asked the hard industry questions, like whether Colbert thought he’d succeed when CBS selected him (the real him, not his Daily Show character) to replace David Letterman in 2014. Read more…

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Stephen Colbert calls the Mueller report conclusion ‘worse than the finale of ‘Lost”

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It was a lengthy, almost two-year wait for the Mueller report to be delivered, and Stephen Colbert thought it was, well, anticlimactic.

In a monologue opening The Late Show on Monday, Colbert said the report’s findings, which found that there was no proof of collusion between Trump’s campaign and Russia, was “worse than the finale of Lost.”

“What about the smoke monster, was it real or not? And if not, why have so many members of Trump’s campaign plead guilty to lying about meeting with the smoke monster?” Colbert quipped.

“Why couldn’t this have been like the ending of Seinfeld? Still disappointing, but at least they’re all in jail.” Read more…

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‘The Late Show’ has its own version of the secret Trump-Cohen tape

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So, we’ve heard the audio of the secret recording between Donald Trump and his former lawyer Michael Cohen, but now there’s video?

Well, at least a video made by Stephen Colbert and The Late Show team.

The late night show has crafted their own comedic video accompaniment to the real 2016 recording aired by CNN on Tuesday. 

In the audio clip, Trump and Cohen discuss a payment for Playboy model Karen McDougal’s story, in which she claimed she had an affair with Trump in 2006. 

In 2016, the Wall Street Journal revealed that American Media — which owns the pro-Trump National Enquirer — bought the rights to the model’s story for $150,000, but didn’t publish it. Read more…

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Stephen Colbert stages a ‘presidential intervention’ for Trump

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Stephen Colbert has held a “presidential intervention” after the week’s hootenanny of events featuring Donald Trump and Russian president Vladimir Putin.

After brutally roasting Trump’s ‘double negative’ defense on Wednesday after that press conference, Colbert spent Thursday’s opening monologue on Trump’s invitation to Putin to visit the White House in the fall for another summit.

Fed up, the Late Show host staged a little intervention for the president, beginning with Trump’s questioning of the United States’ commitment to defending all NATO allies. Read more…

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Trump-Putin press conference gets a roasting from late show hosts

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President Donald Trump’s rather disturbing joint press conference with Russian President Vladimir Putin was always going to be skewered by late-night hosts.

And they did not disappoint.

Following the presidents’ double address in Helsinki on Monday, The Daily Show‘s Trevor Noah didn’t hold back. Before the show, the team pointed out what Russia and America both got out of the summit:

What Russia got:
– total capitulation from Trump
– exoneration for past meddling
– permission to meddle in future

What America got: pic.twitter.com/n4BTIvRzf0

— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) July 16, 2018 Read more…

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Stephen Colbert questions James Franco over sexual misconduct accusations

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James Franco was pressed for answers by Stephen Colbert on The Late Show on Tuesday, following accusations of sexual misconduct since his Golden Globe win.

The Disaster Artist star was interviewed by the talk show host, broadcast mere hours after The New York Times cancelled a TimesTalks event with Franco scheduled for Wednesday. 

A public supporter of the Time’s Up movement against systemic sexual abuse in Hollywood and other industries, Franco wore one of the widely publicized pins to the Globes on Sunday. But during and after the ceremony, in which Franco won a Golden Globe for Best Actor for his role in The Disaster Artist, several women posted accusations of sexual misconduct on Twitter. Read more…

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Stephen Colbert grilling Oliver Stone about Putin is excruciating to watch

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It shouldn’t be surprising in this current political climate that Oliver Stone’s four-part Showtime series about Russia’s leader, Vladimir Putin, hasn’t had the warmest of receptions.

Stephen Colbert is more known for his quips, but a meeting with Stone on The Late Show on Monday proved too irresistible for the host. Colbert asked the director if he was “cosying up” to what some would call a dictator.

“You know, you have to be polite because this was a two-year deal, and it was four times, and I was with him numerous times,” Stone explained.

Colbert admittedly hadn’t watched the series yet, but asked Stone what would surprise him about Putin when watching it. Read more…

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