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Jimmy Kimmel mocks Mark Zuckerberg with brutal Elf on the Shelf parody

You know Elf on the Shelf, that mildly creepy game where people set up a toy to watch over their children at Christmas time?

Well, Jimmy Kimmel’s thought of something even creepier. Introducing “Zuck on a Truck”, a miniature Mark Zuckerberg who knows far more about you than whether or not you’ve been naughty or nice.

“With the power of Facebook’s massive database, your personal Mark Zuckerberg knows absolutely everything,” reads the parody ad’s narrator. “Zuck on a Truck can tell if you’ve been naughty or nice. He knows every website you’ve ever visited, every place you’ve ever lived, every friend you’ve ever made, every love you’ve ever lost, every schoolmate you’ve stalked — Zuck on a Truck even knows when you’ll die!”

Truly terrifying — especially given it’s common knowledge that Facebook tracks us in a number of different ways.

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